Being Comfortable with Solitude
When I was younger, I never pictured myself with anybody. I always felt that being alone was part of my future because I didn't have much faith in finding someone who could love me in the way that I wanted to be loved. Of course, I feel differently today, but there are times when I think about being by myself and recalling how I became comfortable with the idea of solitude - even if it meant being alone for the rest of my life.
I truly believe that in order to appreciate being WITH someone is to experience loneliness and solitude first. I often talk to my girlfriends who are single and they want to be with someone.. and I always tell them to enjoy the time that they have alone because once they find someone, they will truly be able to appreciate it.
A lot of times, girls will rush into relationships because it seems like in order to really "exist," you must be with someone else. It isn't always so. Being comfortable with yourself and being comfortable being alone is definitely something we all need to experience. I am scared of those who are afraid of solitude... afraid to do anything by themselves. I have no problem spending an entire day by myself - I find things to do and I believe that is when I feel most free to be myself.
Being in a relationship means that you need to understand devotion and knowing when to do your own thing and when to do things together. Being able to be carry yourself the same way in the absence of your partner as you do in the presence of your partner is something that isn't always easy. To be less clingy, less jealous, more loving and more devoted, you need to know what it is like to be your own person and have an understanding that the person you are with is their own person too. In solitude, you realize that everyone has their preferences and their own lives. Merging lives together takes effort and takes time.
I really believe that you need to be comfortable alone first in order to really appreciate being with someone else. Many may disagree but I know it has worked for me. The lesson that loneliness teaches us isn't just something we learn once.. it is a reoccurring lesson in life and we must really learn how to adjust to our environment and embrace the opportunity to learn new things about ourselves.
I truly believe that in order to appreciate being WITH someone is to experience loneliness and solitude first. I often talk to my girlfriends who are single and they want to be with someone.. and I always tell them to enjoy the time that they have alone because once they find someone, they will truly be able to appreciate it.
A lot of times, girls will rush into relationships because it seems like in order to really "exist," you must be with someone else. It isn't always so. Being comfortable with yourself and being comfortable being alone is definitely something we all need to experience. I am scared of those who are afraid of solitude... afraid to do anything by themselves. I have no problem spending an entire day by myself - I find things to do and I believe that is when I feel most free to be myself.
Being in a relationship means that you need to understand devotion and knowing when to do your own thing and when to do things together. Being able to be carry yourself the same way in the absence of your partner as you do in the presence of your partner is something that isn't always easy. To be less clingy, less jealous, more loving and more devoted, you need to know what it is like to be your own person and have an understanding that the person you are with is their own person too. In solitude, you realize that everyone has their preferences and their own lives. Merging lives together takes effort and takes time.
I really believe that you need to be comfortable alone first in order to really appreciate being with someone else. Many may disagree but I know it has worked for me. The lesson that loneliness teaches us isn't just something we learn once.. it is a reoccurring lesson in life and we must really learn how to adjust to our environment and embrace the opportunity to learn new things about ourselves.
posted by Mandy Lam at
1:03 AM
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