High Maintenance Friends...
I'm not a fan of the high maintenance friend...in fact, I go out of my way to avoid the high maintenance friend. Being friends doesn't mean that you HAVE to hang out all the time or HAVE to message them as soon as they log on to MSN. To me, friendship should feel good and safe...not awkward and mandatory. It should feel like you can call someone up anytime and not have to deal with the third degree: "Why haven't you called me in the past six months? Why are you suddenly wanting to talk to me NOW?"
I met up with my friend Carolyn yesterday after not seeing her for almost 4 years. We had a friendly chat over some amazing dinner-sized salads and it felt natural, not forced. It made me think of how many people I befriend out of pressure and obligation. She and I used to joke about how we only see each other once a season and that was good enough for us. We occasionally chat online and it always feels like she knows me just the same as she did in the 13 years that we have been friends. I have no doubt about our friendship and that it will be long-lasting.
I know we all fall into this rut of trying to be friends with everybody. I take pride in the fact that I can call up my best friends and they'd just be happy to hear from me, not angry that the past three months have not rendered any communication. The high maintenance friend needs constant contact - otherwise, there is no "real friendship."
When I went to my cousin's bridal shower, I saw the very definition of friendship in her friends. They survived through the long-distance friendship and endured many life-changing moments together. Even if my cousin was going through her own troubles in university, hundred of miles away, she knew that she could always come back home and her friends would be there for her.
Don't get me wrong, I know that friendship takes effort... of course you have to keep up your end of the bargain... but a true friend would never make you feel guilty for missing that phone call or not being able to make that dinner party.
Real friends are rare....don't I know it.
I met up with my friend Carolyn yesterday after not seeing her for almost 4 years. We had a friendly chat over some amazing dinner-sized salads and it felt natural, not forced. It made me think of how many people I befriend out of pressure and obligation. She and I used to joke about how we only see each other once a season and that was good enough for us. We occasionally chat online and it always feels like she knows me just the same as she did in the 13 years that we have been friends. I have no doubt about our friendship and that it will be long-lasting.
I know we all fall into this rut of trying to be friends with everybody. I take pride in the fact that I can call up my best friends and they'd just be happy to hear from me, not angry that the past three months have not rendered any communication. The high maintenance friend needs constant contact - otherwise, there is no "real friendship."
When I went to my cousin's bridal shower, I saw the very definition of friendship in her friends. They survived through the long-distance friendship and endured many life-changing moments together. Even if my cousin was going through her own troubles in university, hundred of miles away, she knew that she could always come back home and her friends would be there for her.
Don't get me wrong, I know that friendship takes effort... of course you have to keep up your end of the bargain... but a true friend would never make you feel guilty for missing that phone call or not being able to make that dinner party.
Real friends are rare....don't I know it.
posted by Mandy Lam at
10:54 AM
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