Exercising Power
Tonight, I wanted to talk about something that has come up pretty often in the past couple of weeks. It's a touchy topic...one that makes men and women a bit uncomfortable and as I write, I'm kind of cautious of what I say. Nonetheless, even a cautious mind doesn't stop me from talking!
Let's talk about the issue of Power. Firstly, I do believe that those who have power... have others who are willing to give it to them. Like the chinese proverb: There is no wave without wind. Power is not taken... it is given. Upon writing this entry, I found many quotes about power that all say something along the lines of "true power lies in knowing what you want and being able to control your own desires and reaching your full potential." I am a firm believer in that. The minute that you let someone else control what you want, you are giving them power over you.
A recent conversation with a couple of people resulted in the same conclusion that I would like to defend. The conclusion was that women like to brag about how much power they have over men. I don't think this is true especially of *all* women. I believe that there are a lot of women who enjoy the power they have over others and I think it comes from a deep inner sense of achievement. Women have so long been the underdogs of society - never being able to achieve what men have. So they look towards having a different kind of power - an emotional, mental power of men and it's something that some women are proud of. How many times have you heard girls talk about how their bfs will do ANYTHING for them...
However...my argument is that not ALL women are like this. And to accuse women of becoming over-confident when they have power is failing to recognize the dynamic of power itself. Anybody with power will do what they can to control others. The thing is, in society, we need the powerful as well as the powerless. With this dynamic comes structure.
I think some people LOOK for powerful people to tell them what to do - and as soon as you seek out a person with whom you look up to, you have given them the power to influence you and direct you. I admit, when it comes to school, I look to advisors and professors who have gone through the process to guide me and in turn, I have given the power to influence me.
Personally, I get weary of people who look to me for feedback or approval - I am not very comfortable being put in a position of influence. This is why I could never be a teacher... I could not stand having to influence 30 little brats every time I open my mouth. It makes me uncomfortable when friends ask me for advice about personal issues or seek for my approval about their behaviour. I have a tell-it-like-it-is attitude that may offend others and I know some friends have resented me for it. But I am never tempted to lie for the sake of making someone feel better about doing something I don't believe in.
There is nothing wrong with letting others influence you - but don't give someone power over you and resent them for it. Ultimately, the only power that really matters is the power that you have within yourself to distinguish what feels right and what feels wrong. Ultimately, you decide how you are going to handle things and the best way to regain power is to realize that eventually, if you want something bad enough, you have to exercise the power within you to achieve it.
Let's talk about the issue of Power. Firstly, I do believe that those who have power... have others who are willing to give it to them. Like the chinese proverb: There is no wave without wind. Power is not taken... it is given. Upon writing this entry, I found many quotes about power that all say something along the lines of "true power lies in knowing what you want and being able to control your own desires and reaching your full potential." I am a firm believer in that. The minute that you let someone else control what you want, you are giving them power over you.
A recent conversation with a couple of people resulted in the same conclusion that I would like to defend. The conclusion was that women like to brag about how much power they have over men. I don't think this is true especially of *all* women. I believe that there are a lot of women who enjoy the power they have over others and I think it comes from a deep inner sense of achievement. Women have so long been the underdogs of society - never being able to achieve what men have. So they look towards having a different kind of power - an emotional, mental power of men and it's something that some women are proud of. How many times have you heard girls talk about how their bfs will do ANYTHING for them...
However...my argument is that not ALL women are like this. And to accuse women of becoming over-confident when they have power is failing to recognize the dynamic of power itself. Anybody with power will do what they can to control others. The thing is, in society, we need the powerful as well as the powerless. With this dynamic comes structure.
I think some people LOOK for powerful people to tell them what to do - and as soon as you seek out a person with whom you look up to, you have given them the power to influence you and direct you. I admit, when it comes to school, I look to advisors and professors who have gone through the process to guide me and in turn, I have given the power to influence me.
Personally, I get weary of people who look to me for feedback or approval - I am not very comfortable being put in a position of influence. This is why I could never be a teacher... I could not stand having to influence 30 little brats every time I open my mouth. It makes me uncomfortable when friends ask me for advice about personal issues or seek for my approval about their behaviour. I have a tell-it-like-it-is attitude that may offend others and I know some friends have resented me for it. But I am never tempted to lie for the sake of making someone feel better about doing something I don't believe in.
There is nothing wrong with letting others influence you - but don't give someone power over you and resent them for it. Ultimately, the only power that really matters is the power that you have within yourself to distinguish what feels right and what feels wrong. Ultimately, you decide how you are going to handle things and the best way to regain power is to realize that eventually, if you want something bad enough, you have to exercise the power within you to achieve it.
posted by Mandy Lam at
11:38 PM
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