Being "Cool"

I'm really enjoying Gwen Stefani's new song, "Cool" in which she
discusses how she and an ex can still be friends and things are cool.
Sadly, this is not a reality for most people.

Lately I've been thinking of my previous relationship that ended three
years ago. I still can't believe that it's been that long...and now
we're both with different people. He used to tell me that we could
never be friends because he couldn't see me as anything less than a
girlfriend. If he couldn't be with me, he'd rather not have me
around. And it hurt at first to hear those words coming from him, but
I realize that it's probably for the best until we can be "cool" with
one another.

I think after three years, I can finally look back and think about
good times. He is dating someone else right now and we talk
occasionally. He tells me he is happy and I am truly and sincerely
happy for him. I guess we are lucky to have had each other - to see
each other through all the awkward firsts.

I appreciate AB respecting my space enough to let me move on...and I
have. I, in turn, have stayed away from him too and now that we see
each other, it can still be nice instead of awkward.

Imagine having an xgf/xbf who is always in the picture as a reminder
of your failed relationship. It's hard to move on that way. Recently,
my bf got an email from his xgf and she's always kind of been around
even after their breakup. It confused both of us because out of the
blue, she suddenly wants to keep in touch. I'm all for being civil,
but why come around after all this time, after you've hurt someone and
suddenly try to be good friends?

I guess that's where forgiveness comes in...forgiving someone for
hurting you isn't the easiest thing to do. In a way, I should admire
SS for being able to forgive his xgf (God know I wouldn't!), despite
what's she done to him and the fact that he didn't tell everyone so
she can still hang around his friends and have them not hate her.

Being "cool" takes a bit of time esp. if it's a bad breakup. It can't
be forced...because there are so many other feelings involved. It took
me 3 years to finally be able to talk to my xbf about our new
relationships without that tension that used to exist. It's nice to
be able to look back and see how far we've both come.