Who You Calling a Twinkie?

I was at a friend's cottage the other weekend and there were thirteen of us gathered in a small, three bedroom cottage with ONE bathroom. Fortunately, we all got along really well and didn't clog the septic tank! One of SS's friends held an outing for his church group and invited us along.

So here I am, surrounded by about eleven white people and I don't feel a bit out of place. Everyone is so welcoming and comforting. Then... the token asian guy shows up and latches himself onto me as if he's never seen another asian person hanging out with so many caucasian people. He starts making crude jokes and everybody thinks he's hilarious! So we're out by the bonfire and he starts joking about how asian food has become so westernized that some sauces taste like ketchup (or something absurd like that)... and of course, nobody laughs. Then he looks at me and says, "Come on, Mandy... you understand." And I give him this "Shut up before you offend more people" look and he has the nerve to say to me: "Aww..don't tell me you're a twinkie."

At that point, everyone says, "What's a twinkie?" and he goes on to explain to them that it's someone who is yellow on the inside but white on the outside. And of course, nobody laughs at that either! Meanwhile, I'm fuming in my seat wanting to tell this guy to fuck off but because I'm surrounded by people who don't believe in swearing, I'm forced to sit there and not defend myself! But...for those who know me... know that I gave him a stare filled with wrath later during the poker game.

It made me think... here is this guy who probably can't even speak his native language.. telling me I'm too "white" when I am probably more asian than he is! Just because my friends are mostly white and because I speak perfect English and do not wish to relish in the fact that I am "yellow," doesn't mean that I am not proud of my own culture. I am not ashamed to be Chinese/Vietnamese...nor do I hide that fact from anybody who asks me. People who are invited into my home know that I am fluent in my native tongue and am very much involved in my own culture - from customs, to traditions, to food.

Of course it offends me...as it would anybody who is proud to be who they are. To be told that you want to be more "white" is insulting...first of all, it makes my own race seem like a subservient one...like being asian isn't as GOOD as being white and that I have to hide someone else behind my yellow skin. Second, it makes me feel as if I'm ashamed of my own race, which I am not.

This isn't the first time that this has happened to me...in fact, I used to call myself a banana until I opened my eyes and mind one day and realized the consequences of using such a term to define myself. And you'd think... that in an environment where we were talking about not judging people... this guy... this rude American...thought he could judge me like that.