Wallowing...

It's hard to be happy with what you have. We are always wanting more or wanting what we cannot have. It really is a struggle to appreciate what you already have right in front of you.

Lately, I've been struggling with this a lot. I've been feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in self-pity. You know how you just get into those moods where you want the world to feel sorry for you - to recognize how hard you have it sometimes? Well, this week has been that kind of week for me. I'm lying - I've been wallowing for more than a week now - let's say... a "few" weeks. I'm usually the one telling other people that there are worse things in the world and we should be grateful for what we have - no matter how bad we think it is TODAY.

I want to thank those who have been patient... I know I'm not the easiest person to deal with. I know that in times of stress, I'm not very pleasant or pleasing. I know that I've hesitated to say I love you to those who deserve to hear it.

I wonder what the true secret to happiness is....SS thinks it's about keeping things simple and trying not to want so much. I think he might be on to something but at the same time, I know it's not easy. I hope that after everything is over, I can finally get back to normal.