The No-Conditions Type Support and Love
I once had this conversation with my xbf about going further in school and getting my PhD. He hesitated and then said, "So you'll be Dr.? It'll be wierd then..Mr. and Dr. so-and-so." I can tell you about many incidences when I felt like we weren't meant to be together but that was just one of them. The idea of me spending another five years on top of the five years for undergraduate studies away from him was more than he could handle. He would have rather I come home...be with him and stay unhappy. My point is, his love had conditions: As long as I stayed closed to home with him, he'd love me.
When you open up to someone you love about your ambitions and your dreams, you want them to be able to see past their selfish insecurities and support you in finding your own happiness. Whether it be five more years in school or a trip around the world, whatever you need to make yourself happier will make it easier for you to make someone else happy. A lot of people dont' realize that - you can't keep someone by holding on to them real tight. If you really love someone, let them go...and if they come back to you, they'll never leave you. It's the "if" part that you need to get over.
It is okay to dream - don't ever let anybody tell you otherwise. People who can't afford to dream like to play it safe and don't ever want to take risks...so they tend to put others down for dreaming. Having someone who supports your happiness over his own is irreplaceable and it IS possible to find someone like that...you just have to look really hard. Once you find this unconditional love and support, you'll know...just like I knew it wasn't there in my first relationship.
When you open up to someone you love about your ambitions and your dreams, you want them to be able to see past their selfish insecurities and support you in finding your own happiness. Whether it be five more years in school or a trip around the world, whatever you need to make yourself happier will make it easier for you to make someone else happy. A lot of people dont' realize that - you can't keep someone by holding on to them real tight. If you really love someone, let them go...and if they come back to you, they'll never leave you. It's the "if" part that you need to get over.
It is okay to dream - don't ever let anybody tell you otherwise. People who can't afford to dream like to play it safe and don't ever want to take risks...so they tend to put others down for dreaming. Having someone who supports your happiness over his own is irreplaceable and it IS possible to find someone like that...you just have to look really hard. Once you find this unconditional love and support, you'll know...just like I knew it wasn't there in my first relationship.
posted by Mandy Lam at
10:23 AM
2 Comments:
i feel like i was that supportive guy and that's the way i intend to be in future relationships,, and vice versa i'm going down a risky path and i don't know who the hell would want to be with me with my risky ambitions but hey i was with a possibole future doctor and it felt good the only problem was i didn't feel i could be who i really thought or maybe just an impossible dream lol but i know the difference i guess... and if you truly love someone you do let them go...... the sad reality.
By
alf, at 10:47 PM
You just have to have faith that somewhere a long the line, there is someone who understands your passions and dreams. Being yourself in a relationship is important too - you cannot be with someone who doesn't share a common love with you. Sure, you may be able to find someone who supports you - the important thing is, it has to be both ways. You have to be able to compromise. You can't expect to be the only one dreaming...
By
Mandy Lam, at 7:35 PM
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